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February 24th, 2006


01:54 pm - Name change
I need to change my lj name. Here are some ideas. I don't particularly love any of them but... Any comments, likes, dislikes, suggestions?

buyersremorse
nanolj (now with nanotechnology!)
sweaterpuppy
fenestra
lol
lollers
ejectorseat
irregardless
wayofthedodo
fridges
slactivist
dirtybomb

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December 18th, 2005


12:36 am - Hairy Pothead
Tonight was a minor social disaster. I was supposed to meet a friend at a movie theater. I went and waited where I said I would until 20 minutes past when the movie was supposed to start and then went in. When I got out I had 4 messages on my machine with her voice getting more and more miserable and angry that I wasn't there. She made me feel like I'd done something wrong but I don't think I did. I can't think of any reason to feel sorry. The only thing I can think of is take my cell phone into the theater but I don't usually carry around my cell phone and certainly not in a theater. So I figure she pretty much hates me now. But I don't think I deserve it.

What's the proper thing to do when you agree to meet at a movie and one person doesn't show up? I would do just what I did which was go into the theater and keep an eye out for them.

I sympathize with her for having to take a bus and go out in the cold and all but I don't know. Is a guy supposed to just suck it up when a woman is upset at him even if he's done nothing wrong? Should I just say I'm sorry and not defend myself? I suppose that would be the gentlemanly thing to do.

P.S. She just AIM'd me and she's not mad. Phew. So everything's fine. Nevermind!

P.S.S. The movie was Hairy Pothead and the Goblet of Fire. It was just fair. I din't like it that much. I think the last one was better, just a little. This one was scarier and more gruesome. Not for little kiddies. And there was tons of stuff about adolescence; first dates, battle of the sexes stuff. Kinda corny, even for teenagers! I sat next to an elderly couple who seemed to love the corny parts! They cooed and awed at those parts. But I definitely wanted to bang Hermione! Just kidding. She actually looked pretty much the same. The two boys looked much older tho. Prof Snape is by far my favorite. He steals every scene he's in. I'd like to see a whole movie about him. He's totally goth and sarcastic.

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December 15th, 2005


10:32 am - Oral sex thermometer
Maybe it’s a function of my viewing too much Internet porn but I find this product shocking in it’s blatant sexuality! Is it a golden dildo erupting snugly from the lips of a libidinous beast? Au contraire. It’s a thermometer imprinted with an advertisement for--of all things--a funeral home! Were they unaware of fellatio in 1932 when this indelicate item was produced? Apparently not in the funeral home industry or among the innocent (or perhaps devious?) souls who designed this promotional product.



More images and full story here.

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December 14th, 2005


12:36 pm - Fishy Phone Call Equals Grounds for Bush Impeachment
When someone calls my land line it's always something "fishy". Anyone who knows me calls me on my cellphone since my land line is always busy due to my chronic internet dependency. The only time the line is not busy is when I'm lying in bed, thus my horizontal position precludes internet use.

Today I was rousted from blissful slumber by a call to my land line that made my spidey-sense tingle. A man with a voice like a bounty hunter, or at least a heavy drinker, named Wayne Jeffries, asked if this was the [my last name] residence. I said yes. He asked if I would write a note for someone who lives at an address directly across the street with his phone #360-885-2319 on it, and tape the note onto her door. He said the person's phone # was not working and wanted her to call him. I asked what it was regarding or what his relationship with her was and he said, "It's just a personal call."

Possibly this could be a perfectly innocent request but somehow it seems very odd. So I did what any cough*paranoid*cough normal person would do and did some internet snooping! It turns out I WAS RIGHT!

A search for the phone #360-885-2319 turned up this link which describes the dishonest and possibly illegal debt collection practices of Fidelity Collection Service. I never knew my neighbor but I know the house has been vacant for about two months and it's being remodelled so that kind of gets me off the hook anyway. But what would you have done? If she were living there, would you still leave the note on the door? Or would you call back Wayne Jeffries of the Fidelity Collection Service and tell him you found out about their questionable practices and would not be an accessory to the commission such an endeavor?

What's the connection to impeachment? It's as clear as day: According to the website, Fidelity Collection Service is a contractee of Qwest Dex (the telephone directory), which is in turn owned by The Carlyle Group, which, it is well-known, is a private investment consortium whose members include George Bush Senior and his cronies. When Bush Senior dies, G.W. Bush--our current President--will inherit some of the ill-gotten gains from The Carlyle Group. Therefore G.W. Bush is personally responsible for rudely rousting me from my warm bed and demanding that I harass my neighbor (who is Black, by the way, proving that George Bush does not care about Black people!) with illegal bill collection practices! Clearly grounds for impeachment!!!!! BLLAAAAARRGGGG!!!!
Current Mood: happyFunny

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December 13th, 2005


02:24 am - Kiss Kismet!
A little tidbit: Today (ok, a week ago) as I unwrapped a Hershey's kiss--one of the four essential food groups--gravity took it's wrathful toll and my freshly nudified kiss went plummeting to the floor. My gaze descended fearing I'd see my naked kiss rolling forlornly on the unspeakably grimey floor. But lo it was my great kismet that my pants cuff caught the wayward kiss in it's tender embrace! My morsel was plucked from certain demise by a fortuitous fold of fabric.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
*Actual photo - Not a re-enactment. I hopped over to my locker to get my camera.

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November 25th, 2005


02:02 am - Funny video clip
http://www.goodiebag.tv/odds/proper_words_song.htm

The Proper Words Song

"A fortysomething man in overalls sings about proper terminology for your anatomy. You don't often see a song played on a miniature guitar that contains the word 'vulva'."

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October 31st, 2005


08:42 pm
Sorry I haven't written much since I got a job. It just hasn't been appealing. It doesn't seem so important lately. But anyway, here I am. This is going to be a boring post about work hours and staffing needs, just letting you know.

Regarding the other job at Swedish hospital; It possesses many advantages but aslo some risks. If I didn't already have a job, I'd definitely grab it but I now have a job that's pretty much equivalent so I'd be risking giving up a good thing for an unknown thing.

The advantages of the Swedish job include the shift; 7 days on, 7 days off. That means every week I'd get a week off. That also means it would be easy to take a 3 week vacation simply by missing one week of work. In my current job, in order to take a 3 week vacation I'd need to miss 3 weeks of work.

The disadvantage of the Swedish job is that it's only 56 hours per pay period, or 28 hours a week. That's not enough money for me. So I'd need to pick up extra shifts. According to the manager this is highly likely but not gauranteed since there's no predicting what the staffing needs will be. I could possibly find an every-other-weekend job for some additional hours but that would be a challenge.

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October 21st, 2005


08:51 pm - Transcribing Entrails
Well, I’ve been training on my new job for a 4 days now. I have a good conception of what the job entails. (Ever notice that ‘entails’ and ‘entrails’ are only one letter apart? Coincidence? I think not!)

Anyway, it’s a lot of shuffling papers, answering phones and a surprising amount of "transcribing"; literally copying notes word-for-word from one worksheet to another. I spend hours a day copying words verbatim, BY HAND, onto various triplicate forms. There must be a hundred different forms to fill out! It’s straight out of the movie Brazil, I’m telling you. Hell, we even have an elaborate pneumatic tube system come to think of it! Just like in the movie.

But all this transcribing and filling out forms makes me fear for my job. It feels so antiquated that I’m sure any day now the role I’m performing will be replaced by computer. I’m very surprised it has not been already. I guess it’s just a matter of the administrators of the hospital not wanting to make the investment in a computer system to perform the role.

I suppose a Unit Clerk will still have a role to play even when all the forms are computerized because anything that the hospital can get a Unit Clerk to do for half the pay of a nurse, they will eagerly oblige.

Nurses make so much money. Damn I wish so badly that I wanted to be a nurse. Fresh out of school, they start at $25/hr base pay. Plus they get $3-5/hr for evening or night shift, plus another dollar or so an hour for various specialty certifications that only take a few hundred hours of school to get. Plus they have ample opportunity to work overtime. Plus you could be a travelling nurse and make half again as much plus free room and board if you were willing to work temorarily in another city. Plus they have a wide variety of shifts and jobs to choose from and ample opportunities for advancement. Plus my hospital will pay you $5000/year towards your nursing-related academic expenses if you choose to persue a nursing degree. So basically, with less than a Bachelor's degree, you could have employers begging you to work for them for $25 - $50/hr right out of school. Arg.

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October 18th, 2005


03:38 pm - Another Interview
I'm on my way to another interview, this time with Swedish Hospital. Yes, I already accepted the job at UWMC, and I'm a week into orientation, but I figure it'll be worth my while to attend this interview to see what's up at Swedish. It's another chance to wear my suit with the too-tight pants; and that's always a good thing! I'm concerned about how to answer any questions about where I'm working currently or when I'd be available to start working if offered this position. I think it would seem rather flakey if I told them I just started a new job but am looking for a change. Oh well, I guess I'll ad lib something. Maybe I'll tell them I prefer to work at Swedish and that will make them feel special.

The job I'm applying for is in the Emergency Department which is more fun than Oncology. (Plus I think chicks will think it's cooler?) It's much closer to my house so less money to pay for gas. At Swedish, I'm thinking there will be a greater possibility of working overtime if I so choose since there are numerous job openings for Unit Coordinators all over the hospital.

On the other hand, the advantages of the UWMC are that, well, I already have a job there and the people seem nice. They have a good benefits package but, I would assume, so does Swedish. At UWMC I'm working for the State of Washington which somehow makes me feel more secure and they have a pension plan. But that's probably foolish. Anyway, I'll see what I'm offered and go from there.
Current Mood: calmcalm

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October 17th, 2005


03:03 am - Urine Interupting Interloper
I just had a new and unique experience...in a public restroom. Intrigued? I thought so!

Picture it: a large restroom in a movie theater with 7 total recepticles from which to choose; 4 urinals, 3 stalls. I ducked into said restroom before the start of the movie. I'm blissfully alone with nothing but my thoughts reflecting off the glossy tiles. In the middle of doing my business, a man enters and instead of choosing one of the 3 open urinals or one of the open stalls, he queues up directly behind me as if mine was the only unit available! WTF?!

I'm a bit pee shy and if there's some one else in the restroom when I enter, I'll head for a stall and plug fingers in my ears to trick myself into thinking I'm alone. It's always a risk to choose a urinal in that my solitude may be severed without warning. Hence the above situation is pretty much a worst case scenario. Not only am I now decidedly not alone but am under pressure to perform lest I inconvenience my new interloper.
Current Mood: confusedconfused

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